Mourning…

My dad passed away.

There are many people who have had to deal with losing a parent.  I knew this day would come sooner or later, I just didn’t think it was going to be …sooner.

I don’t think about it, I don’t try to “process” or go through “a process”, I just try to be.  How can I be anything else?  My dad is gone.  My world, and my children’s world, is forever changed.  I’m not sure, exactly, what “process” it is that everyone seems to mention when you lose someone.  You know, you’ve heard it at one point or another… “you just have to go through the Process… You have to Mourn.. you have to…”  What?  What is it that we Have to do??  Just be, we can only just .. Be.

I feel like it’s an understatement to say, “I lost my dad”.  I feel like that doesn’t really cover it.  I feel like I need to try to explain to people what that actually means, to me.  But, I am speechless.  I have no words… I keep trying to have words.  Then I just have to .. Be.

I am eternally grateful for the siblings that God has given me.  We can relate, we get it.  We have All lost something, together.  We can text or call or just stop in and know that the other person truly gets it, they understand.  They understand that our dad was different.  He wasn’t like other dads.  He was special.  He was the most present, active, alive, loving person I’ve ever known.  He made himself available to everyone he came in contact with, therefore forging lifetime attachments with so many people I can’t even count!

My dad taught me how to love.  He taught me that love is an action, it’s a verb.  That you choose to love.  He chose to love us with an unconditional all encompassing passion.  He loved well.

Love you Dad.

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3 Responses to Mourning…

  1. byhisgrace08 says:

    Beautiful….my heart aches for you!!!! May God be your strength while you just be you! ~Sarah

  2. Jeanne Doyon says:

    Precious words for a man I will always remember. He touched lives without even realizing it. It was his way–and a reflection of the God he served. Love is indeed a verb. Your dad lived LOVE everyday.
    Praying for your family, Steph.

  3. krainville5 says:

    Sorry Steph. No, I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a parent, but it will happen to me too and it will be different for me. I’m feeling your loss Steph. He was a wonderful man and we are all better people for having known him. Please send my condolences to your Mom and the rest of your family.

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